Queen G’s SAMA Weekend

Manicure *check* eyelashes *check* Brazilian weave *check* puts local designers on speed dial to arrange a fine outfit for yours truly *flicks weave*

When all was done, I wriggled away my sexy behind to witness the most anticipated event in the land – the SAMAs. I tell you being a queen of gossip makes one to be all over the place*pouts*

So Sun City was packed to capacity with thousands of South Africans who had come to witness the event. I tell you if you were not at the SAMAs you missed out *sticks tongue*

On arrival I bumped into Mahoota and Vetkoek, both looking stylish in their outfits, mara who were those people you guys tagged along? Were you guys running a feeding scheme campaign? I mean 20 people, like really now *claps once*

And then there was the Generations duo of Zolisa Xaluva (Jason) and Thami Mngqolo.(Senzo). Bayaphapha shem. Was there a need to be prima donnas? Zolisa hun, leave your b*tchy jacket at home.

Thami, on the other hand, was with a school kid, where was the Muvhango girl? Wasn’t she reported to be heavily pregnant a while ago? Incidentally, the latest info we have is that the pair have a daughter Lwandile Cayden Uvolwethu Mngqolo.

Back to the matter at hand, Mafikizolo reminded me why I went to Sun City *bbm dance* these guys never seize to amaze me, their performance was on fire.Mara, whoever did Nhlanhla Ncinza’s make-up must be send to jail, for a second I thought it was a mask.

Can somebody please enlighten Moi, is Theo a gay vele? Just asking nje phela the things Moi witnessed *shakes head* need I say more….

The outrageously talented Khuli Chana finally had his moment to shine in the spotlight; all the years of hard work have finally paid off, well done hun. Ungaphaphi ke amantombazane azokuqeda.

Donald looked yummy as always *bats eyelashes* can you please make use of Moi’s numbers? I’m tired of you being in denial our train of love is coming… laughs for days.

Kelly, on the other hand, took the whore look to another level *puts hands in my head* what am I saying mara unjalo mos loyo. But she  is free spirited shem, as for her music *gasps* it makes one to forget about her chequered past.

Another performance that made Moi wonder if I was at the right venue was when Kabomo  and Zonke took to the stage in white outfits *whew* fashion or no fashion, but whatever it is that Zonke had smeared on her lips was just out of this world sies.

Can somebody tell Moi what happened to the third member of  Big Nuz?  His absence reminded me of Moi’s favourite song bengine four thousand sengisele ne two thousand *sings in their voice shaking what my mama gave me*

Word is that the group’s other member is fighting for his life in some Durban hospital; I wonder if it’s not what I’m thinking, kunzima shem.

Guess who else I bumped into. Julius Malema *claps once* clearly he has not lost his popularity, as he grabbed the attention of girls in bum shorts and weaves who took snaps on their phones, thatha Juju.

The after party rocked; I tell you these shelebs drink like fish. But all in all it was a party worth attending, Sadly, though, I was disappointed when the SABC after party was shut down because of some funny characters who behaved like barbarians.

Many artists ended up not performing, mara MTN, where do you get all these funny characters with a tsotsi mentality? Shem it was disgusting.*bbm not interested* walks away…

Back to the local front. What is a weekend without Moi gate-crashing Cubana? Phela it’s home away from home and word is that the place turns into pandemonium when Moi is not around with her tranquilising and sedative effect *giggles*

So Peter Mokhothu and Lekgotla were playing Father Christmas, oops, what am I saying? These are top shayela skhothanes *hides*

And then there was T-bose of Metro FM; like seriously now, can somebody please tell daai boy to get off his high horse *flicks weave* he has a way of making people feel so small, as if he is the best ice cream on earth.

As for the girl he tagged, yhoo was that the best he could afford? That cheap skank in a weave that’s seen better days; honestly now, T-bose, you could have done better shem, and what’s up with you guys getting all kinky in public places? Get a room please *bbm not interested*