Ms. K Unrestricted

To win her heart, hear her out!

Listen Up

Whether she talks a lot or is on the quiet side, all women want to be heard. If you’re not the greatest listener, get to work on these skills. First, put away the phone. Second, focus on what she’s saying and how she’s feeling. Third, ask questions to clarify and draw her out. Finally, reflect back on what you’ve heard in your own words. You’ll show her how important she is to you.

Open Up

Get real with her and communicate what you want in the relationship. Do you want to date once or twice a week, with benefits or without, spend all your free time with her, mingle the friend groups, or what? Decide what’s right for you and then see if the two of you are on, or at least near, the same page.

Man Up

No one wants a mama’s boy. It’s fine to have a close relationship with your mom, but the girlfriend’s got to come first. That means telling her your exciting news before your mom, sharing secrets with her alone, and never giving her reason to think that your mom is more important than she is. Women want a real man, not a boy who looks like one.

Be present

Ask her questions and truly listen opposed to prejudging what she will say. Get to know her values, beliefs, goals and dreams by gently taking a deep breath and bringing your mind back to the moment when it wanders.

Bring your most confident self on each date and believe that you deserve love.

It is common to experience dating jitters, but focus on embracing your inner confidence and resisting the urge to believe self-critical thoughts. Remember that you attract a great partner through your own self-worth and availability.

Don’t lose yourself

Don’t disappear into a couple. Make sure you each retain your own interests and hobbies. Get stuck attached at the hip and you may never find your ego again.

Don’t let yourself go

If she wanted a baby hippo, she would’ve found one. Just because you have a significant other, does not mean you should stop going to the gym and spend your life in sweats. She liked you put together and fit. Keep it up.

Don’t stop having fun

There will be plenty of of monotonous humdrum. There will be puppies, children, diapers and chores. Find the time to enjoy each other’s company – whether it’s in a restaurant or a lounge, find time to have fun with each other – just the two of you.


Don’t Text. Seriously, if a woman texts you back, still CALL her, you will win her over with making an effort.

Make a date plan

Make sure you have reservations, places to go afterwards, a guy with a good date plan, gets the second date!

Be early

Women get more nervous that you will not show up, so being there early shows you made the effort and that you are calm and relaxed (instead of apologizing and short winded) when she gets there.

Be a gentlemen

Walk her to her car or make sure she gets into a cab, show interest in her safety.

Call for another date

The sooner the better, since so many people have people “ghost” or “flake” on them, it’s better to show interest these days.

Make sure that she can count on you!

This alone for a woman to be able to depend on a guy is huge.  She needs to know that you will be there for her.  If you say you are going to be somewhere, then you show up on time.  If you say that you will call –  you call.  This is how trust is developed over time.

Show appreciation

There are different ways to show appreciation and you better make sure it matches the way she needs love to be expressed to her, be it a verbal affirmation or a big kiss and a hug.  The last thing she wants to feel is taken for granted.  If that happens, then know that she will be considering her other options in the near future.

Tell her she’s special

Your girlfriend wants to know that you have eyes for her only.  She needs to know why you chose to be with her.  And she wants to see that you will be loyal to her.  Most woman worry that you will tire of them, move on or become unfaithful.  By expressing why you are with her, she will feel more secure in the relationship and that you are not going anywhere.

Demonstrate that she is being included in your future

Do you talk about taking a vacation together?   Are you including her in activities with your friends and family?  Is your girlfriend invited to spend time with your family during the holidays?  Has she met your parents yet?  All these actions demonstrate that you are including her in your future and that she is important to you.

Remember her birthday

It’s important to remember her birthday and holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Christmas or Hanukah or Kwanza.  Women feel special when you make a big deal about these special occasions with an appropriate gift, a romantic dinner or a weekend away together.  Don’t forget the flowers and other items (food or meaningful trinket) that she enjoys.  Again, this shows her that she’s special to you and worth all the effort.  If you need help pulling it together, then seek help.  Don’t fall down here or you will be history!