We’ve all swooned at the adorable stories of couples who spend their whole lives together, and are just as much in love with each other in old age as they were right at beginning. But what is their secret? How do they manage to maintain, and strengthen, their love through the years? Read on to discover his 10 tips for lasting relationships:
1. Go to bed together. This doesn’t mean go have sex every single night, but rather go to bed at the same time. Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times even if one gets back up shortly after.
2. Work out your common interests. It’s fine if he loves rugby while you’re into painting, and you shouldn’t even worry if the thing you find most boring is what really gets him going. Initial passion won’t last forever, so you need to make sure there’s some substance behind your relationship.
If common interests aren’t present, happy couples develop them. Don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Hold hands. Next time you’re out together, make sure you’re in sync by holding one another’s hand. It’s public sign of affection and real comfort. It’s more important to be with your partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Always trust and try to forgive. Obviously this depends on the severity of your disagreement, but as a general rule it’s key to make trusting and forgiving, rather than distrusting and begrudging your default setting after an argument.
5. Focus on what they do right, not what they do wrong. Positive reinforcement is an age-old concept used with children and even the training of animals. But it’s still important for fully grown adults too. So compliment your partner when they deserve it and try not to look for things they do wrong. You can always find something.
But that works both ways; “If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.”
6. Don’t forget to hug. Hug your partner every single day (if circumstance allows). Our skin has a memory of ‘good touch’ (loved), ‘bad touch’ (abused), and ‘no touch’ (neglected).
7. Say “I love you” and “have a good day” every morning. Seems obvious, but it’s an important one. Saying something caring like that first thing will set the other up for their day. It’s a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines, and other annoyances.
8. Say good night, every night. Never go to bed on an argument. Even the gesture of saying good night tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Check in with them throughout the day. Calling your partner to see how their day is going is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. So if your other half has had a nightmare of a day, you know what to expect.
10. Be proud to be seen together. A display of tenderness in public is important. It’s not showing off, but rather just saying that they belong with each other. And that’s quite nice.